A Love That Is Strong Army Strong
by civilgirl2429
Summary: Bella and Jacob fall in love by accident...Bella has her abusive boyfriend Edward and well Jacob enlist in the Army and this is a story based on their struggle to survive their friendship and their love.
1. Love

*Just wanted to put that out there. That I don't own Twilight Saga or any of the characters I am just using them in my story. I love her work. I think it's the best. By the way Team Jacob. :P *

I am sitting alone in my room waiting on that phone call I should be getting any minute. From the one boy, well his not really a boy he is a man now. But the last time I saw him, he was just some stupid teenage boy fresh out of high school. But now in this moment in life it has been six months since I have seen him. The only form of communication we have had is letters, texting, Facebook, phone calls, and picture messaging. He stands about 6'3 which is about a foot taller than me. He is the sweetest, kindest kid you will ever meet. He is like a giant teddy bear, but I didn't call him that. He would be pissed if he found out he did. He's not a teddy bear anymore; he thinks he is big badass now that his is in the United States Army. Yeah right, and I am the Queen of Sheba, which I'm not by the way.

*Rings*

"Jacob." I scream really loudly into the phone.

"God dammit Bel! That was my ear." He said annoyed with my high pitched scream.

"Hey what did I tell you about that phrase? And I'm sorry I was just so excited to talk to you." He laughed. "Bel you are one of kind."

"Thanks. I know I am. So how was your day?" I ask this question even though he knows I don't really want to know what he is doing.

"Good. How was your day, Bel?"

"Um. I'd rather not talk about it. Jacob."

"Why?"

"Because I had a shitty one and I miss you."

"Don't tell me…Oh what's his face is being a dick wad."

"Jacob Taylor …What the hell did I tell you about calling him names like that?"

"Sorry, Bel he just doesn't treat you right and it has me a little worried I care about you a lot."

"I know Jacob..."

"I just want you happy." He sighed.

"I know. But it's harder than you think."

"I know Bel. I know."

"Jacob. Would you like to have this conversation now?"

"We can."

"Jacob. I love you. You know I do. But I love Edward too. I'm torn between the two of you. It's so hard to decide. Honestly, I do love you. Don't forget that."

"But I feel bad…For before I left for basic…I shouldn't have asked questions like that I shouldn't have you know been so forward with you."

"JACOB TAYLOR…HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? YOU DID NOT FORCE ME TO DO ANYTHING. I DO NOT REGRET ANYTHING. IF FACT I'M GLAD THIS WHOLE THING HAPPENED. THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I HAVE BEEN IN A LONG TIME. MEANING I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY AND CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO GET BACK HOME." I said screaming into the phone.

"Isabella." He said with a sigh.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL MY ISABELLA! MY NAME TO YOU IS BEL DON'T EVER THINK ANYTHING DIFFERENT. I DON'T REGRET ANYTHING. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD. I WOULDN'T TRADE YOU FOR THE WORLD." I said still scream at him. I was mad at this point. He had pushed me to the edge.

"Bel."

"JACOB! DON'T CUT ME OFF."

"Okay."

"I wouldn't trade those past few months for anything. It's not your fault I took the bait. You just asked me simple questions. Believe me those questions made me fall in love with you, hard. That is what makes this so hard. If you wouldn't have found a way to my heart and to know me completely inside-out it wouldn't be so damn hard. Maybe if Edward would have been a little more caring towards me. If he took the time of day to treat me the way you treat me. I wouldn't have fallen in love with you. But you know I'm glad he doesn't care enough about me. I got my best friend and that's all that matters. I have been behind you the entire time you have been in that God forsaken place."

"Bel. I just feel bad that I left for you know basic and you got so attached to me."

"I AM NOT DONE..."

"Look Jacob, I knew what was happening when I fell in love with you. I knew you were leaving and I knew what I was getting into. As I said before I don't regret it. I wouldn't go back in time and change anything. Jacob I know you hurt by the fact I'm still with Edward. But it's hard you're so far away and I don't know how to cope with you gone. You don't think I see it. I do and it kills me on the inside. It does. That's why I can say I love you and mean it. I do love you. Got that? Keep it in your brain. Nothing will ever change that. Not that damn bastard Edward. Got any questions, concerns or comments?" I finally stopped and took a deep breath. He sighed.

"No. I don't. I love you too Bel."

"Hey Jacob it is 20 hundred you better get ready for final formation."

"Oh shit. I gotta go because I still have to change into my ACU's. I'll call you back after formation. I love you Isabella."

"I love you too Jacob. Bye."

*Hangs up phone*


	2. Green Journal

"Oh Jacob Taylor what am I going to do with you." I laughed out loud to myself with that comment.

I picked up my dark green journal with a pocket on the front of it where I kept his dog tag when I wasn't wearing it. When I'm not wearing it I'm with Edward. The dog tag or ID as they are called by military members for civilians says BLACK JACOB T DOB 240192. I loving wearing his dog tag it makes me feel safe and protected. Not to mention he wore it every day before he left so it is something special from him to me. This journal I had started writing in the day before he left for basic there were two reasons for this journal. Reason one being it could be my way to vent to my best friend without talking to him and reason number two Jacob would always know what happened after he left and the period of while he was gone. Edward, my current boyfriend as you discovered in my recent spat with Jacob, doesn't know I have this journal or even really know about Jacob and I being friends. So I lay down in my twin size bed on top of my camo no sew fleece blanket and started writing in this journal.

Jacob Taylor,

It is 20:15 and you are off at final formation so I thought I would write for a minute. While you away just to get my thoughts and feelings down. Just to let them escape just the words oozing out of my pencil like it is wet sand in between your toes. I love that feeling just the relaxing feeling you get after the paper is full. But that is not what I wanted to write about. I wanted to write about how you, Jacob are the greatest person on the face of the Earth and I wouldn't trade this past summer for anything.

_Flashback_

I can feel the heat of sunshine on my face as I lay on my back in the grass next to my best friend. The wind off the ocean is coming at a slight breeze just enough to give me shivers. As Jacob sees me shiver he pulls me closer to him. I can hear his heart beating and with every beat I hear I feel as if I have a meaning of life not just something stupid.

"Hey Jacob." His heart starts to beat a little faster and breathe a little heavy.

"Yeah, Bel."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He lit another cigarette; I could smell it and hear him fumbling with the lighter. I opened my eyes and sat up. He handed over the cigarette and I took a long drag. I handed it back to him. Then I laid back in the grass just sitting in the silence listening to the water hit the rocks.

"Hey Bel. I have a question."

"Okay what's your question?" I was sparked with curiosity Jacob never really asks me questions.

"How did this whole mess start between me and you?" He asked with a cautious tone in his voice.

"You know how…But I will refresh your memory…"

*Rings*

_End of flashback_

"Yup."

"Hello Bella."

"Hey Edward. How are you?"

"Um. I'm pretty good. How are you?"

"I'm okay…"

"Would you like to go out to dinner and a movie tomorrow?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"But I gotta go hunny. Dad's calling me and I think he needs my help with something. Probably making something in the kitchen. I love you Edward." Wow, even to me that I love you sounded force. I hope he doesn't notice that would be just another fight that I'm not really in the mood to deal with.

"Okay. Bella, I'll see you tomorrow the same time as usual."

"K."

"I love you too Bella."

"Byes"

"Bye."

I hang up the phone and get back to work on working on that journal entry to Jacob. I need to clear my thoughts from my mind and this is how I am going to do it. I pick my pencil back up again and start writing in my green journal.

Jacob, where was I….Oh yeah I remember now. Sorry Edward called me and wanted to know what we were doing tomorrow. Yeah tomorrow is another day with Edward. I hope I'm not miserable like I always am. He is always cutting down and making me feel like I'm shit and I'm not worth anything. Is this true? I know what you're gonna tell me. It's not true Bel. He's just a dick. I know he is but that doesn't stop me from loving him. I do love him with all my heart. He has been there with me through more things than we should talk about. But you know Jacob you have brought a whole new world into my view you know what I mean? I mean honestly while you been away in basic training for the army I have learned many things from you. That without the army we wouldn't the best friends that we are now. We built our friendship stronger off of what is in this journal even though you have yet to see it and those letters we sent back and forth in the very beginning. I'm so glad we became close friends. I really am. Well it's about 21 hundred and you will be calling soon. I love and miss you.

Love, Bel


	3. Phone Call with Jacob

A/N: A PX, which stands for Post Exchange, for those of you that don't know, is a giant store that is on the military base that is like Wal-Mart except without the food. I will try to post notes of what things are because until my best friend explained them to me I had no idea what they were either. If you have any questions feel free to contact me via pm. I hope you enjoy.

*Rings*

I think I'm going to turn that thing off sooner or later. I laughed out loud. Wow, you're such a loser Bella.

"Yes…"

"That's a great way to greet your best friend."

"Oh shut up Jacob."

"You thought I was Edward didn't you?"

"Kinda. We just got off the phone something about making plans for tomorrow or some bullshit like that. I'm not sure I haven't been really paying attention to him lately."

"That's kinda of funny."

"Oh shhhh you."

"Bel…"

"Yes Jacob."

"I know when I'm coming back home."

"What?"

"Yeah. Um. I'm getting station back in Washington. Finally get me out of this hot now cold hell hole called Ft. Leonard Wood. I came back for Christmas/X-mas break December 22nd."

"What? And you're now just telling me all of this."

"Bel it's like a month away."

"I know but still. Ugh." He laughed.

"Let me guess you are giving me death glares through the phone."

"Why yes I am Mr. Jacob. Do you have a fucking problem with that?"

"Um. No. You're kinda of cranky today."

"Thanks. You would be to if your boyfriend was the biggest asshole this side of the planet."

"What he do this time?"

"Just every time he talks to me I just can't do anything right and he is always degrading me. We probably won't talk tomorrow you know the drill when I hang out with him. I'm sorry darling. But I do love you."

"I love you too. I know the drill. I just bought a portable DVD player so we are all good. So it beats what I do any other time you hang out with Edweird. "

"Ha. I leave you alone for ten seconds and you go out and buy half the damn PX. And you know it's not my fault you're still there."

"Bel. You know that's not true and don't even go there..."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry you got hurt two weeks into training but it's still not my fault and save it for someone who cares."

"I thought you did care."

"I do. I just like giving you shit boy."

"I know you do."

"Isn't time for you to go to bed…?"

"Trying to get rid of me already?"

"Yeah I'm busy and I have things to do."

"I hurt…"

"Oh drama king. Shh. I'm just kidding I have nothing to do. I just don't want to hear you complain about how tired you are tomorrow and how I kept you awake all night."

"I miss you a lot Bel, and I'd rather not go to sleep it makes me miss home too much because that's all I dream about."

"I'm sorry. I wish I could help but I'm not sure how."

"I just have to do it Army style suck it up and deal with it." There was a long pause where either one of wanted to say something. At least point I didn't want to say anything more to make him upset or miss home any more than he already did. I got up off my bed moving across my room to my computer desk, and sat down in the chair and start spinning around. I spun myself a little fast because I fell on the floor with a loud thump.

"Bel what the hell was that?"

"I just fell on the floor…" He laughed really hard at that one.

"Um…how you manage that one? I've only been gone six months and I'm really surprised you haven't fallen off anything or in the hospital because of clumsy you are."

"Ha. Ha. Thanks Jacob. I was spinning a little too fast in my computer chair. Shut the hell up. Nobody asked you for your damn opinion. Dickwad…"

"Why am I a dickwad?"

"Cuz your mean and if I wanted to talk to one I would call Edward."

"I'm sorry Bel. I'll behave myself."

"You better." I said without trying to laugh. Come on now seriously him be scared of me…He knows hand to hand combat and I'm about 5'3 and he's a foot taller than me. Him scared? Yeah right as I said earlier than I'm the Queen of Sheba.

"Oh I am." He said in a sarcastic tone.

"Oh yeah and I'm the fucking Queen of Sheba." I said rolling my eyes.

"Oh really. Does that mean I get to be the king?" I laughed so hard at him I thought my sides were going to explode. Although I did start to cry I was laughing so hard. It took me five minutes to just recompose myself after that comment.

"Sure Jacob." I laughed some more.

"I don't understand what the hell is so funny." I'm laughing even harder now. Oh man this kid sometimes didn't get the most obvious things. But hey he is cute, can't be cute and smart. But I love him no the less.

"Nevermind."

"Okay then."

"Jacob…"

"Yes. That's my name I prefer you not wear it out."

"Oh. I will say it as many times as I want."

"I know you will. But I like you to scream not say it." This comment caught me off guard and I lost the ability to think about what I was going to say back to that. "Gasps I made Bel speechless. God that's hard to do." He started laughing really hard.

"Just shut up and go to bed."

"You're never any fun."

"Goodnight Jacob."

"Goodnight Bel. I love you."

"I love you too. Now go away so I can go shower."

"Can I join?"

"Oh…I'm gonna beat you. You know there are two things I'm going to do to you when I see you for the first time in six months."

"Oh yeah what's that?"

"First I'm going to give you a really big hug. Second, I'm gonna kick your ass."

"What if I never let go of our hug?"

"Dammit. Jacob. Um. I will pull out of it and kick your ass."

"Yeah. I'm scared."

"I know you are. Just like my saying back when we hung out in high school. I AM TIGER HEAR MY ROAR. Meow." He just started laughing.

"You know I love when you do that."

"I know. How's going to sleep going for you?"

"Same as you showering. Not going well at all."

"Ha. Ha. Jacob."

"Why do you want to kick my ass?"

"Where the hell that question come from and because there has been six months' worth of shit I have heard from you be it in text, phone calls, letters things of the sort."

"Oh. Yeah, I'd like to see you try."

"Oh I will don't worry about that none Jacob."

"Ha. You'll have to catch me first."

"Don't worry about that none. It will happen. I'll talk to you later. I love you. Night."

"I love you to Bel. Night"


	4. The Question

A/N: So my best friend who this story is based off of came home THREE DAYS early so this might be my last chapter for a while until he goes back to base. But I will write when I can and do what I can when I'm not spending time with him. But I will post when I can. Thank you for the likes on this story I have been working hard. Gah. It was the best surprise ever today. Sorry for the short chapter. Emily. 3 12-19-10

*Inside of Bella's head*

We hung up the phone. I lay back down in my bed and started to cry. It hurt me on the inside, it hurt so bad like ten knifes were being stabbed inside of me. The pain I put him through on a daily basis is what really bothered me. I always hear everyone telling me it is not nice what you are doing to this poor boy if you were going to screw him over you shouldn't have become so attached to him in the first place. Well, we did get attached and it hurts me to see this problem of mine kill him on the inside every waking moment. Everyone thinks I'm stupid for doing this to him that I should just dump Edward. But what no one gives me credit for is that this is a lot harder than anyone would think. Plus on top of that the whole situation is rather confusing to me. In love with my best friend…That's what it boils down to. It wasn't supposed to happen this way…You know…It all started because I needed someone to smoke with. That's all I really wanted but it turned into so much more. The feeling I get every time he holds me, it a safe warm place no harm can get me and the world just melts away. I can't believe this one boy could make my whole world melt away. But where does Edward fit into all of this. Well when I first starting dating Edward he was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. He made me so happy, but now no one would believe that. Every time I do something that is out of line for him he will yell, scream and make me feel like shit. Just everything he says to me is negative or about how I'm not a great girlfriend. I'm so tempted to tell him to fuck off you mother fucker. But I won't because I love him wayyy too much for him to get away with shit. Honestly I don't know what I should do anymore. I love Jacob but I love Edward. But the question is who do I love more.


	5. Edward

A/N: Sorry it's been a few weeks since the last short chapter got posted it up but honestly I never thought I would be writing this story with him in the area. x.x These past days have been quite a ride. I hope you will read the continuing chapters to find out what has happened over these past two weeks. (It's all human. I think I forgot to mention that.) Let me know if you have any questions or concerns of the story.

I don't really remember falling asleep last night, which means shit I didn't set my alarm. Oh my god it's ten til ten which means Edward will be here soon and I have to be ready by the time he gets here. I turned on my laptop and opened my windows media player and the song Teenage Dream by Katy Perry came. I started to get ready while dancing around my room.

"Built a fort out of sheets." I sing at the top of my lungs while finding what I wanted to wear today. Hmmm. Let's see. I can't wear that shirt Edward doesn't like it. He thinks this one makes me fat, I can't put on too much make-up it makes me look like a slut or trashy according to Edward. So I think I will stick with a tight of dark blue jeans with a plain black tee shirt. Let's see what mean comments he's going to say about this today.

*Doorbell rings*

Dammit time for Edward all ready? I run down the stairs and to the front door and there is Edward looking as he usually does dark button up shirt with a light color undershirt with blue jeans. He was driving the BMW today.

"Hello Bella."

"Hey Edward." I said going in for a hug he kinda of pulled away before accepting it. I let go and he followed me through the open door. He sat down on the black cloth couch that is on the back of the living room wall next to Charlie's favorite chair. Across the little room was a TV on a small wooden stand that looked like it belonged back in the 1960's or 70's.

"I'm gonna finish getting ready." I went back upstairs to my room. I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Jacob saying:

Hey Jacob, I'm with Edward for the day. I'll talk to you tomorrow I love and miss you.

I finish getting ready without a hitch. Pull yourself together you can do this I promise just smile and nod and don't let him get to you.

"Edward. I'm ready." I came down the stairs ready for the date he had planned doing whatever the hell he wanted to do.

"Oh…" He said staring me up and down.

I already knew he didn't like what I was wearing so today was already starting off to a shitty start. He sat on one end of the couch and I sat on the other.

"Edward, how about I make us some lunch?"

"What would you make?"

"Um. I don't know let's see what I have in the kitchen."

"Oh."

You know Edward it hasn't even been ten minutes and you have already made me want to kill you that's a new record even for you. I go into our 60's looking eat in kitchen and go to the fridge to look for something to eat. It is about lunch time, oh the joys of feeding Edward he never really wanted anything I would make. I pulled out some chicken nuggets out of our freezer and pulled some instant mashed potatoes out of the cabinet. He came into the kitchen and sat down at one of the four chairs pulled around our round table.

"Would you like some help?"

"Sure." I wonder why he is being so nice but you know I'm not complain maybe he's not going to be a complete and total asshole to me today maybe tonight will go off without a hitch. But knowing Edward nothing is really true.

"I can make the potatoes."

"Okay." We started to make each of our sides of lunch in the quiet. I didn't really feel like starting any conversations with him. Lunch was finished fairly quickly without any bloodshed which was a nice change for once.

"I'll clean up."

"Okay."

I wonder why he is in such a great mood but I'm not going to say anything because I enjoy him like this it reminds me of a better time. When we first started to date and he didn't treat me like some pathetic piece of property. I meant the world to him and nothing else in the world matter to us than each other. How safe and warm I felt wrapped up in his arms, he was always my rock, my hero. Every time something would go wrong in my life him, Edward, was always there to pick up the pieces but I'm not exactly sure what made him change his mind about everything. I wish to this day I knew. So I think this is why I'm having a hard time with both of them is because Edward is or was important to me and Jacob has somehow become my whole world in a matter of months. But don't think that just because Edward is an asshole now doesn't mean he always was. Believe me I use to be a princess in his eyes. We had something so strong, close that I couldn't even describe it to you. He was my one and only for the longest time. He made me everything, he bought me everything that I could ever wanted. I have so many love notes from him. I remember one specifically though. Dear Bella, I love you more than the world itself. I will do anything for you. You are important special to me. I kinda wrote you a song.

They all keep asking questions

Wondering who I am

But you're the only one who knows me

And takes me as I am

And I can't even see it

No I can't feel a thing

The memories are just blurs upon the screen

And if I said I loved you

Would you let me say it again

I love you and you're everything

And I

Don't see the world in you

I see

So much more

If I

Gave my life to you

Could you use it?

For more than I am worth

For more than I have

The ends nowhere in sight

And the sun is falling fast

I hope you liked it.

Love,

Edward


	6. Jacob

A/N: Sorry it has been so long since the last chapter. My life has been a complete mess, like you wouldn't believe at all. But I will try to post as much as I can. I have been having writer's block, not to mention I start my new job soon. Along with school, life has been a lot to handle. But it is a long story of what has been happening with these guys that this story is based off. 3 Emily 3

I guess while spacing off into outer space, Edward had managed to clean the kitchen. Even putting everything into its' proper place without asking me every ten seconds where it goes. Although, he does know what it does go I can't tell sometimes because he wants me attention or just to annoy me I'm not sure. Edward, don't get me wrong I love him to death but sometimes he asks too many damn questions for his and mine good. But sometimes I can't help but sit here and wonder what it would be like to be with Jacob. Just to know how "normal" my life might be with him. But I don't know I still love Edward, unless you have been a "mess" like this it doesn't seem very hard which one to choose but it really is. But you know everyone always hears the same thing. You try being in my situation, like really. Well you don't know until you hear it from the beginning. But that is for another day.

"Bella?"

"Yeah. Edward."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing really."

"Are you lying to me?"

"Nah. Just had my mind on some things about school and stuff nothing too big to worry about Edward."

"You promise Bella?"

"Yeah I promise."

After Edward had cleaned the kitchen, he joined me in sitting on the couch. He looks towards me; he gently pushes me back on the couch and gently kissing my lips. He starts to move his ice cold hands up and down my body. I can feel him start to go under my shirt with every move he makes.

"Edward."

"Yes…" he says not pausing what he was doing to me.

"I don't want this. Edward... please stop."

"Oh. Yes you do."

"No, I really really don't."

"I know you do. Don't fight me."

I laid there on the couch not really wanting to feel what was happening to me. I tried to ignore it. But every time I didn't climax when he thought I should. He would pull my hair so hard I just wanted to scream bloody murder. The pain was so unbearable; it was the pain of somebody stabbing me with a knife in my heart. But not only my heart, but my entire lower body. I just got to keep telling myself to just put my mind in a better place.

_Flashback_

It was a hot summer day like most of the time when we hung out. Jacob was coming to pick me up and we were going to go the beach. He had packed a lunch for us and everything. Although I have never really cared much for his cooking, it is the thought that counts anyway. As he pulls up in his truck into my drive way, I hear our song blaring through the speakers. American Ride by Toby Keith.

_Winter gettin' colder, summer gettin' warmer._

_Tidal wave comin' 'cross the Mexican border._

_Why buy a gallon, it's cheaper by the barrel._

_Just don't get busted singin' Christmas carols._

_That's us, that's right_

_Gotta love this American ride._

_Both ends of the ozone burnin._

_Funny how the world keeps turnin._

_Look ma, no hands._

_I love this American ride._

_Gotta love this American ride._

He sends me a text message, even though I could hear him pull up. I come out in blue jeans, a light colored tee shirt I had borrowed from him on a previous day before when we were hanging out.

"Hey Bel. You're looking as beautiful as ever."

"Aw thanks Jacob." I turned away from him and blushed.

"I can't deny the truth." He said as pulling me closer to him. I turned even redder than I already was. I love it when he says such beautiful things to me and means them.

"Thank you Jacob."

"You ready to go Bel."

"Yeah, whatcha got planned for us?"

"I don't know yet. I thought we would go to our favorite spot."

"Alright." I said as I climbed into the truck and sat next to him on the bench seat. I quite love to be curled up next to him. I love to feel his love, his passion, his caring about me. He started the truck and turned down the music and turned on the radio just as background noise. I closed my eyes, letting the sun hit me from whatever direction it was coming from. By the time I open my eyes again I am laying on a blanket by myself in our favorite spot. I can hear the waves hitting the rocks but I can't hear or see Jacob anywhere.

"Jacob." I said. I didn't get any response.

"Jacob." I said again.

"Yeah."

"Where are you?"

"I'm right here" He said coming out of the woods.

"Where have you been?"

"Just out wandering a little bit while you were sleeping."

"You were out thinking about how we only have a few days left together."

"Yeah."

"It will be fine." I said hugging him.

"Hey Bel. How about we just sit and are together for a while."

"I would love that."

_End of flashback_

Edward had finished up with whatever he had done to me. I think, oh wait I know Edward just raped me. I mean honestly this day is just shitty and I knew it was going to be. I can't believe he raped me. I am not gonna cry. I am not gonna cry. The rest of the evening went on without a hitch. I mean there was no more raping or things of that nature. We went to see a movie and then ate dinner. He dropped me off at home about eleven. I hurried up and went upstairs after locking the door. I dug in my purse trying to find my phone. I was so hoping he would still be up. I called him. He picked up on the third ring.

"Hello." He said very groggy.

"Jacob." I said and just started crying and couldn't stop enough to tell him what was truly bothering me.

"Bel. Just breathe darling. Sh. I'm right here. What's wrong?"

"Jacob…He raped me…"

"He what?"

"Yeah." I could feel the anger coming off of him, so I just started to cry harder and harder. I went on and on about the whole topic. He was not very happy. I told him how it was my entire fault and I am not really worth anything to the world.

"Bel. You worth something to me. You are worth a lot to me actually. I can't believe he did that to you it is time to cut it lose darling." He was just going on and on. Eventually I passed out not really wanting to but from pure exhaustion. He just put me to sleep and didn't worry about himself in the morning.

The last thing I remember him saying to me is I love you Bel don't worry everything will be alright.


	7. Lying

A/N: I am going to start posting up chapters faster than what I have been I hope you have enjoyed the past six chapters. I have been working hard. This story is getting harder and harder to write because everything in it is real except the character names. Thanks for reading my story there is still plenty left. So sit back and enjoy the ride Jacob, Bel and Edward are fixing to go on. Believe me when I say it is going to be a wild one. Through this story I hope to tell you guys about my love story with a guy name Jacob Taylor. Believe me when I say it is going to be hard to believe this is a real love story.

I woke up the next morning feeling very groggy when I looked at the clock it said 13:00. Shit it is one already. I can't believe I slept most of my day away. Oh well. I sat up in my bed; my head decided that it was a bad idea so I just laid back down. I just turned over grabbed the photo of Jacob in his ACU's in his basic training photo. I love this photo I was the first to get one, even before his mother. I am a very lucky special girl I guess. I take that photo and the letters he sent me while in basic training with me everywhere. I feel so special around him, but anyway where did I put that journal of mine? Oh here under my pillow with my pen still in the pocket. I open the page where I last left off.

Jacob,

I know and I am sorry about what happened last night I should have never called you. But then again it made me feel so much better you have no idea. I do love and care about you, but do you see what he does to me. How he tears me apart? I am trying to stand up to his bullshit I honestly am. Do you know that? I love you with all my heart and I know the world doesn't see it. But do you? I know that most of the world doesn't understand why this is happening to you. And truly I don't understand why this is happening to you either. You are the best thing to ever happen to my life. I guess I'm just so scared. I am so scared of everything that is going to be happening in my life. He threated to take everything from me. I don't know what to do. I am scared of him. He treats me like this in person. I would hate to see the way he could ruin my whole life. It wouldn't be very hard at least not for him. I don't understand why I have to be this way. I just wish I could stop being a chicken and just stand up for myself. But Jacob, you understand don't you. I feel so bad. I just don't even know what to do. When you first left I had gotten so depressed I barely even left my room. I had to be threated to get out of it. I just didn't want to do anything. I lost my best friend. That was the worse day of my life. Watching you leave. I can never do that again. Please don't make me do that again. I do love you but that was too hard on both of us. I have been thinking about you a lot lately and how I wish we could sit in our spot and just relax. I want to be held in your arms. Be loved and hope the world will be alright until tomorrow. But I guess that is for another day. You're gonna be home in about a month and I'm so excited. : ) You have no idea how excited I am. I just want you to hug me again. : ) That will be a great moment in my life. I just want to be held and hugged. Well I have to go because if I don't I will just go back to sleep in my bed.

Love,

Bel.

I don't remember much after that journal entry until my phone was going off next to my head. It was singing Fireworks by Katy Perry.

"Hello." I said very groggy, not even looking at who was calling.

"Did I wake you up sleeping beauty?"

"Jacob Taylor."

"That's my name. I'd rather you not wear it out this way." He laughed. I rolled my eyes at his comment. Gah he is so nuts. I am just gonna beat the snot out of him.

"Oh you know it was funny Bel. I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm sorry."

"It's alright." I just didn't want him to know I had cried myself to sleep and that has all I have done all day.

"Then what you do all day?"

"I just chilled."

"Oh."

He didn't push the matter much farther than that. He knows better. It means I don't want to talk about it, and I really didn't feel like putting up a fight with him. At least not tonight. I know he just cares about me and my best interest. But as of right now him in AIT he just needs to know the basics not everything because bad news can set off his whole mood on how he is going to run the day and well I need him to be up and functioning so he can train to fight for the country. I know it isn't good for our relationship but I am trying my hardest to protect both of us. To protect us from all the bad things that are fixing to happen. I just feel it in my bones.


	8. Letters

A/N: These next two chapters are dedicated to Kittylover93 for the journey she is about to be taking in life. I met her through fan fiction and we since then become good friends. I hope this story help you on the journey you are about to take. : ) It would have helped me on my journey. Also this story in general is dedicated to any other loved ones who have had to experience the same thing in life. It is a hard battle and journey to take, but in the long run true love will always come out and win. All the letters in these chapters were really written by my Jacob when he was in basic training for the Army. These are all true events, people and story just with her characters. : ) Emily. By the way your guy's feedback is very important to me. : )

_Flashback_

It was getting closer and closer to the day he was going to leave. I didn't want him to leave; we had grown so close together just sitting in out spot. He always made me feel like a man should make a girl feel. I started, as being the writer I am, I started a journal so I don't have to write him in bad news in the letters. I write everything that happens in my life almost every day and keep it there so maybe one day he will read it and understand everything that has been happening in my life. Some day he will get how much I love him and how much I am scared of Edward himself.

6.20.10

Jacob,

You haven't left for basic yet. But I am lonely and I have so many things running through my mind. I'm gonna try not to think about it because in the long run five months is longer than anyone thinks. Maybe it will go by fast. My life will go smooth with you gone. But I'm not sure of anything right now. I just know that we were brought together for a reason and that reason is unknown to me and maybe even to you. I'm not sure how to tell you anything writing in here helps. I can't really think but I think that's because we did a whole lot of stuff this week. We are both lacking sleep and are nervous as hell. And this has been hard on both of us. I know you and I both feel the same way. It does gonna be hard sleeping tonight. But I will you go to the office and say again goodbye. But you know this is something you've wanted to do and I will not stop you. I will do anything for you. And I know you understand the whole Edward thing. I love you I don't know about leaving him because of my thought processes. But yet again no excuse. He's nothing but a jerk. Oh well. But that's all I have to say.

Love Always,

Bel.

6.21.10

Jacob,

That was the saddest thing I've ever had to do in my life. It was to leave you there and to know tonight you won't be home or won't be there to hang out with me. Today was great. The past month has been great. I'm so sad it had to come to an end. I'm not crying bad tears. You have just been such a big impact on me. With everything you've done with me and for me. I will probably spend some time with your parents while you are away. I mean they were just as upset as we were. Jacob I know you love me that's why we said goodbye earlier this week. I have to pull myself together so I can deal with Edward. I don't want too. I just want to sit and cry for a while. Just listening to music and try to pull myself together. Sit here with your shirt and smell it. I'm so glad we saw each other today. Your mom I think wanted me to go home with her. But I went home. This is the first time I've been in my room since we started hanging out. You've changed my mind on a lot of things. You're right I deserve to be treated well than what he is treating. It is gonna be hard to leave him. I don't know how but I know no matter where you are at you always having my back no matter what. That I have nothing to worry about, it is still gonna be hard no matter what. But yeah. I know Jacob, grow a pair and dump him. What do I have to loose. Right. Well I'm exhausted right now. And I am probably going to take a nap until he gets on his lunch break. Whatever. I don't even care about him anymore. I don't deserve this. Well I'm gonna go for now. Write more later.

Love,

Bel

He left about a week ago, and I am still waiting to hear from him. I know he is alright but I mean I do love the kid. I can't wait until I get my first letter. I just can't wait. My dad looks at me funny as I run down to the mailbox and check the mail day after day. Well today was the day I received my very first letter. It was so nice to hear from him, to see that he still cared and with it came the instructions on how to mail the letters back.

Dear Bel,

I can't tell you how much I miss you right now. Just talking to you for the brief minute on the phone made my whole day go by faster. I hope our spot is doing well? Also did you break up with Edward yet? I'm not pushing I'm just wondering. You know he isn't that good for you. But anyway how are you? Right now the tough stuff hasn't started yet. We spent a week at reception. That's where we got everything issued to us. DI'S (drill instructors) were nicer there. The DI'S at BCT (basic combat training) are a lot tougher. You are most likely really confused right now aren't you? I love Bel. Sorry random thought. Today it was 95 degrees with 72% humidity. It ended up raining and thundering and lightening around 19:15ish tonight. I miss you so much. I miss your dark brown eyes, your reddish brown hair, and your sweet voice. I miss talking to you late at night. I miss your hands running through my hair. I guess I just miss you all over. Well it is time to go to bed her so: goodnight I love you and miss you. And a goodnight kiss to you built into this letter. Too bad I was not able to give it to you myself. Goodnight. Sleep well. I love you.

Love,

Jacob

P.S. Please write back.

For the next few days, I took my trips back to our spot just to watch the ocean hit the rocks. But mostly to cry over what was really missing here in my life. He was. I just wish he was here to make the world go right, to make the Edward pain a little less. Just like he always does. Sitting here makes me want to write this letter back to him, but I just can't. I can't figure out what I am going to say. I just can't. I don't know what to tell him. I just can't write some bad news letter I was warned about doing that. But what should I do?

Dear Jacob,

Here is my letter. Honestly it has taken me a week to write this. I'm not sure what to write about. I don't think I have ever used the mail system at all. I guess that goes to show you how much we as a society depend on technology until the other day when I received your letter I had not been to our spot since you left. It only brings back memories and makes me miss you more. Edward is another story we shall talk about sometime soon. I guess I mean I shall try to talk to you about it. But I didn't break up with Edward. It's hard. I know it's just some lame excuse but what other thing do I really have to say about the topic itself. Well I guess that's all I have to put back for now.

Love,

Bel.

I sat at our spot as I wrote this letter crying my eyes out. I went home and mailed it.


	9. Author's Note

Author's Note: I have been kinda of busy and depressed lately. And as I said that this story is based off the real life story of my life. We have been having some hard struggles and it has been an uphill battle. We have had some recent deaths and etc in the family. So I hope we will have more posted. Now that the story has gotten in a little deeper, Jacob will be helping me write the story. So the chapters will becoming maybe a little faster or slower. I'm back in school now and working part time doesn't help either. Well with Jacob working three jobs, just trying to find time for one another is hard enough. Chapter nine is written I just haven't had the time to actually type it onto my laptop. But I will find some time to do so. Or I will just let Jacob use my laptop and that will be easier on me to be honest. Well I'm off to get things done. I will keep you posted. On the news in my life and how many things will be happening and I promise to keep you somewhat informed on the chapters at hand. Thank you for being patient with me and staying up with my story I hope you have enjoyed it so far the ride is about to get a whole lot more difficult. : ) Please yet again let me know if you have any comments, concerns or questions. BTW your guys reviews are important to me. :)

Love,

His Civil Girl (Emily)


	10. The Final Goodbye

And so I did it. I mailed the first letter back.

-Current Day-

Little did I know that letter would lead me down through basic and part of A.I.T. I lay here thinking about Jacob late at night in hopes that all good things will happen…

*Phone Rings*

"Yes Mr. Jacob."

"Well hello to you too Bel."

"How are you this evening?"

"I'm alright and you?"

"Meh."

"Hey Bel. We start this convo before I went to final formation."

"Oh really what was that about?"

"Oh you know the story."

"Oh you mean 'the story'."

"Yeah Bel."

"So where do you want me to start?"

"The beginning…"

"Darling it started our senior year of high school and I have a bad smoking habit. You were the only one who would buy me cigs. So we would go after school and hang out in our spot. We smoke and talk. You brought up all of our old memories. And with that started our story."

"No Bel there's more."

"Okay fine

"Jacob you asked me after everything we had been through why did you never kiss me? I said, 'sweetheart I don't know I guess it never felt right.' We dropped it after that. In all honesty Jacob… You could always see behind my mask."

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT HE IS AN IDIOT!"

"I'm not done telling the story Jacob."

"Okay fine he's still stupid."

"Jacob." He huffs with a sigh in defeat. "Now can I finish the story or you gonna pout like a little kid the rest of the night?"

"Okay fine Bel."

*Flashback*

It's a warm day school just got out as I walked out of school to the bus I could hear Jacob running to the bus. And of course I could hear him calling my name. He was running up behind me screaming my name.

"HEY BEL BEL BEL BEL."

"What?"

"Hi." I just rolled my eyes sighed and got on the bus. The bus ride to my house was fairly short. We got off the bus as always at my house. We dropped off my stuff from the last day of school and we headed towards our spot. We sit down in our spot just sitting there not really saying anything.

"Hey Bel."

"Yeah Jacob."

"When we dated the first time why did we never kiss?"

"I don't know. I guess it just didn't feel right and it wasn't a very long time we dated, remember?"

"I know."

When he said this comment something clicked in my head and in my heart. I just wanted to kiss him so bad. We had fallen in love and we didn't really know how. He is a very soft gentle man. I just didn't know if kissing him is the right thing to do or not. I am dating Edward and all. But Edward is a prick and I just want to be treated the way I deserve to be treated. But going against everything that my mind is telling me in this moment, I decided to go with my heart. Well we shared our very first kiss.

*Flash-forward*

While spacing off into my own world. I could hear Jacob starting to fight sleep. I could feel it was going to be a rough night on both of us.

"Hey Bel."

"Yes darling. I'm right here."

"I miss you."

"I know."

"I just don't want to miss you or home anymore."

"I know."

"I just don't want to sleep. All I dream about is you and home."

"Shhh. It's okay darling." I said to him hoping to calm him down. Honestly I don't know what I am supposed to say back to him. How do you tell a homesick soldier, you're in love with to go to sleep when he is so homesick? Even though in the morning he won't be home and he isn't coming home for a while how do you make that kind of man feel better? It's just an honest question. I don't know what to say all I can do is tell him it's okay and try to put him to sleep.

"Sweetheart, it's alright I'll be her in the morning."

As I continue to talk him to sleep I tried everything to fight with him to get him to go to bed. He had to get up in a few hours and train so he needed sleep. So I didn't know what I was going to do. At least point I have tried about everything.

"Well fine then Jacob."

"What? NO BEL DON'T LEAVE!"

"Nobody said anything about leaving. If you don't want me to talk you to sleep than you leave me no choice Mr. Jacob."

"No it won't work. I won't listen. I won't."

I sighed and laughed a little. I opened my laptop pulling up my window's media player. I clicked on the song Traveling Soldier by the Dixie Chicks.

_Two days past eighteen_

_He was waiting for the bus in his army green_

_Sat down in a booth in a cafe there_

_Gave his order to a girl with a bow in her hair_

_He's a little shy so she gives him a smile_

_And he said would you mind sittin' down for a while_

_And talking to me,_

_I'm feeling a little low_

_She said I'm off in an hour and I know where we can go_

_So they went down and they sat on the pier_

_He said I bet you got a boyfriend but I don't care_

_I got no one to send a letter to_

_Would you mind if I sent one back here to you?_

_Chorus: I cried_

_Never gonna hold the hand of another guy_

_Too young for him they told her_

_Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier_

_Our love will never end_

_Waitin' for the soldier to come back again_

_Never more to be alone when the letter said_

_A soldier's coming home_

_So the letters came from an army camp_

_In California then Vietnam_

_And he told her of his heart_

_It might be love and all of the things he was so scared of_

_He said when it's getting kinda rough over here_

_I think of that day sittin' down at the pier_

_And I close my eyes and see your pretty smile_

_Don't worry but I won't be able to write for awhile_

_[Chorus]_

_One Friday night at a football game_

_The Lord's Prayer said and the Anthem sang_

_A man said folks would you bow your heads_

_For a list of local Vietnam dead_

_Crying all alone under the stands_

_Was a piccolo player in the marching band?_

_And one name read but nobody really cared_

_But a pretty little girl with a bow in her hair_

_[Chorus x2]_

*Flashback*

By the second time I get done with the second time I hear him slightly snoring. Which means he is in a heavy sleep, I stay on the phone with him for about another hour to make sure he stays asleep. I wake up with my phone going off to Jacob texting me.

_Good morning Bel. Hope you slept well. Today is the day I leave I hope to see you. Love and miss you Jacob. _

It brought a smile to my face reading deep down it brought great sadness to my day. He was leaving today and well today was the day I lose my best friend. I called him on the phone. He picked up on the third ring.

"Hey Bel." He said with excitement yelling at me through the phone.

"Hey Jacob." I said in my groggy I just woke up voice.

"Is someone sleepy?"

"Yes."

"Hey Bel. I have a question."

"Yes Jacob. What would that be?"

"Do you want to go with us to see me leave?"

Deep down inside I didn't want to watch him leave. Because it is going to be hard, we have grown so close together. I don't really want to go but I just don't want to watch everything.

"Do you want me to go?" I asked him finally after a long pause.  
"Yes I do."

"Then I will go."

We continue to talk on the phone. I can sense the sadness in his voice. It was going to be hard on both of us; I could just feel it in my bones. I don't remember or really know who fell asleep first. All I know is that my phone was going off. It a text from Jacob.

_Hey Bel. Are you up?_ His text said to me.

I replied back. _Well I am now. Lol._

_I didn't mean to wake you._

*Phone Rings*

"Hey Bel."

"Yes sweetheart."

"I wanna see you."

"I know you will. You wanna come over?"

"Okay."

I got dressed and was getting ready to walk to Jacob's house. It was not very far from mine. Plus I needed the walk anyway. As soon as we meet half way it started to rain.

"You know Bel it never fails."

"I know." We started to run towards his house. By the time we get there we are soaking wet and we lay down in his bed.

"I'm gonna miss this."

"Me too Bel, me too." Jacob's mother came in the door with a loud bang.

"JACOB!" She yelled.

"Yes mom what is it?" Jacob responded and went downstairs to see what she wanted. I closed my eyes and as I laid there in his bed. I thought about how much I was going to miss him. How much Edward would never understand everything that has been going on behind his back. All of a sudden I felt Jacob's hands on my shoulder and he kissed me on the cheek.

He whispered in my ear, "I love you Bel."

"I love you too Jacob." I whispered back.

"It's time to go…"

"I don't want you to go." I say as I hold on to him tightly.

"I know you don't but it will be okay I promise."

"Promise?"

"Promise. I will be home again soon. Before you know it, it will all be over."

I jumped up out of his bed and him a big hug; I started to cry a little. He pushes me back a little, saw the tears he put his hands gently to my face and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. He is the only one that I allow to get that close to my eyes. After he wiped away my tears he kissed me and made it the best kiss ever. I knew this was going to be the last one for a long time. So I gave him one last big hug and I said my I love you and goodbye. So we got in the car with his parents and left Jacob's house. Everyone was quiet and no one said a word. But as I sat there I couldn't help but think to myself…This was the last time, the last moment, the last hug, the last kiss, the last touch, the last of everything. This is the last time I was going to see him or be with him for a very long time. A long time that would feel like FOREVER!


End file.
